


Catnip

by jashinist_feminist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cat Sex, Cats, F/M, M/M, sasori as a cat, the third as a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jashinist_feminist/pseuds/jashinist_feminist
Summary: Karura rescues a small fluffy red kitty. Her boyfriend Rasa is not impressed.
Relationships: Karura/Rasa (Naruto), Sandaime Kazekage | Third Kazekage/Sasori
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Catnip

**Author's Note:**

> I read some lovely hcs about Sasori and the Third as cats by my dear friend Kitty and was inspired to write a fic featuring them both as cats! :O
> 
> The funny thing is...while writing this...I didn't really have to tweak much to keep Sasori in character as a cat XD

Karura was the first human who came to look at Sasori in the cat shelter who he did not immediately want to shred to pieces. Curiously, he trotted out from underneath his blanket, and sniffed at the knuckles she offered him. She smelt clean, of lemongrass, and patchouli perfume. Her aura seemed calming, and Sasori knew that he would enjoy sitting in her lap.

He stayed on his best behaviour while she inspected him, letting her stroke his back, her fingers sinking into his fluffy red fur. Before he knew it, his tiny body was scooped up, and stuffed into a pet carrier. Sasori yowled loudly, remembering the last time he had been trapped inside one of these, and scrabbled urgently against the plastic walls. A blanket was thrown over the top of the carrier, and everything went dark.

Sasori went silent, his ears pricked. The carrier swayed side to side, but he could still smell Karura. He heard traffic, the rush of outdoors, before the opening of a car door. The carrier was plonked down, a car engine switched on, and then bounced along the road.

When the car came to a stop, Sasori felt the carrier picked up again, and then the swinging of a gate. A door clicked open, and then closed behind. There was silence, but for the squeaking of Karura’s shoes. Sasori watched through a gap in the blanket as she leant down, tugged them off and pulled on some slippers, before lifting the carrier into the next room.

When Karura lifted the blanket, through the bars, Sasori spotted a well-cared for home, with a squishy sofa, a patterned blanket throw tossed over the cushions, a bookshelf that looked perfect for climbing, a television set he could pace back and forth in front of, and a coffee table that he could roll under.

Karura reached forward, although Sasori could only see her burgundy sweater from his viewpoint. The door to the carrier swung open, and Sasori hesitated. He sniffed, cautiously, wondering if this was for real.

Sasori trotted forwards, still sniffing. His ears pricked, but there was no sound, apart from a washing machine in the distance, and Karura’s gentle hums as she rustled in a packet. A treat appeared on the palm of her hand, and Sasori trotted out of the carrier, and fetched it from her palm.

Now that he was in the living room, he could see that there were some things for him too. A cosy pet bed that he could hide inside if he wanted to, a scratching post, some toys dotted along the floor, and a bowl of food and water. There was even a litter tray, freshly scented and laid out for him.

This _was_ for real then.

Sasori snatched one of the catnip toys and ran inside the pet bed.

* * *

Sasori didn’t stay inside the pet bed for very long. If this was his house, he wanted to see it all, and he wasn’t going to wait around. He trotted back out, and found Karura lounging on the sofa while watching a tv series. She patted the side of the sofa next to her, and Sasori scrambled up, tiny claws sinking into the fabric of the blanket throw. Karura didn’t mind, and once he was up, reached over and scratched behind his ears.

Sasori noticed that next to her was a large box with a dangling gift card attached to a fancy pink satin bow, and clamoured over her lap to investigate. Karura laughed, and moved it away, before popping a chocolate from the box in her mouth. Sulkily, Sasori lowered his head for Karura to scratch again. Karura obliged, and Sasori burrowed beside her, purring merrily.

At night, Karura clamoured up, and gave him a final caress behind the ears. She put the chocolates in the fridge, before disappearing inside her room. Sasori stared disappointedly at the closed door. He had enjoyed her petting and how lovely and warm she was to cuddle with, and there was no way he could wait until morning for more.

He took a running leap, and his paws snatched the handle, tugging it down. The door swung open with his small weight pressing against it, and Sasori barrelled inside. This room smelt most strongly of Karura, and Sasori found her spread out across a double bed under a quilt.

He leapt up, kneading the mattress, before sniffing at her face.

“No, Sasori, this is my bed,” sighed Karura sleepily, rolling over.

Sasori ignored her, and settled on the pillow next to her face. He purred loudly, directly against her ear. It may have been Karura’s bed, but Sasori decided it was his now too.

* * *

In his new home, there was always food, every morning before Karura left for work, and every evening whenever she returned. During the day she left out dry food for him to nibble at, there was fresh water, and his bowls were cleaned for him every day. His litter tray was cleaned almost instantly after he had finished with it, and Sasori enjoyed the luxury of being cleaned up after. At night, he clamoured up onto Karura’s pillow, curling beside her warm head, purring into her ears. She tried to push him away, but soon realised that was never going to work.

During the day while Karura was at work, Sasori explored over the apartment, climbing high on the bookshelves, the wardrobes, the fridge. He liked to sit on top of the fridge, swooshing his fluffy little tail back and forth, since he was now the lord of the house.

When Karura returned home, Sasori aimed straight for her lap. It was warm and soft, and he could knead his paws against her belly. Karura yelped if he did it too hard, but Sasori honestly couldn’t help himself. He remembered kneading his mother whilst he suckled alongside the rest of his litter, never properly getting enough to drink, as his larger littermates pushed him out, but desperately craving more of her warmth and embrace.

Growing excited that Karura was his and his alone, Sasori kneaded a little too hard, as Karura gave a yelp, and then pushed him away.

Sasori’s fluffy little tail drooped, and he settled on the other side of the sofa, deciding to groom his long red fur.

* * *

Whenever Karura had a guest, such as her younger brother Yashamaru, Sasori sulked at the top of Karura’s wardrobe. He couldn’t understand why Karura would want to pay attention to a guest and not to him. When Yashamaru peered in to say hello to Karura’s new addition, Sasori hissed and swiped at his hand.

The next guest that Sasori decided he did not like in the slightest was…

Rasa.

Rasa was Karura’s boyfriend. He trod in, threw his nasty Rasa-smelling coat over Karura’s nice smelling coat on the peg, dumped his Rasa-stinking shoes next to hers, almost as if he owned the place, and then sat on Karura’s sofa where Sasori liked to cuddle Karura. Instead of feeding Sasori treats, Karura would bring her boyfriend a cup of tea, and snuggle up next to him, when she was supposed to be snuggling Sasori.

Sasori hissed at Rasa as soon as he stepped in, and then cocked a fluffy red leg in the air like a ham bone and urinated all over his shoes.

“Shoo!” ordered Rasa, when Sasori clamoured up on the sofa to reclaim Karura.

“Oh, let him come for a cuddle,” said Karura, pulling Sasori onto her lap.

Sasori settled down, neatly tucking his paws beneath his body, swooshing his fluffy tail back and forth smugly.

“He keeps hissing and biting,” complained Rasa.

“He’s fine with me.”

“Not with everyone else.”

“Perfectly understandable, considering what he’s been through,” Karura tickled behind Sasori’s ears. Sasori lifted his head, enjoying the feel of her fingertips. “He was purebred and the runt of his litter. They took him away from his mommy cat before he was ready and gave him to some crazy old lady who forgot she even had a cat. Then he ended up in the rescue place all underweight. He was like a bag of bones and fluff when I picked him up.”

“Couldn’t you have picked a nicer cat? My boy would never bite or scratch anyone,” scolded Rasa.

Sasori bared his teeth at Rasa.

“Yes, well, San stole my dinner when you invited me for a nice romantic evening in. Sasori would never do that,” bristled Karura.

“He didn’t know it was for you! I always give him a bit of what I’m eating, otherwise he feels left out,” Rasa looked genuinely sad as he spoke.

“Watching him run off with my chicken spoiled the mood,” sulked Karura. “And anyway, Sasori loves being cuddled and snuggled. San stalks off when he’s had enough.”

Rasa sighed, and pulled Karura closer into his arms. “Well, let’s see how they both get on.”

* * *

The next day, one of Sasori’s blankets that Karura tucked into his pet bed had gone, and instead, Karura held out a new blanket. Sasori sniffed at it, immediately detecting the presence of another cat. There were short blue hairs over it, and he could tell the other cat was a boy.

Karura left it on the floor for Sasori to sniff at throughout the day. Sasori found he quite liked the other cat’s scent, and even decided to sit on the blanket to take his afternoon nap.

Over the next few days, boxes and suitcases started appearing in Karura’s apartment, all with Rasa’s nasty scent over them. Sasori cocked his leg in the air and pissed on each of them, running away to hide in the wardrobe when Rasa noticed and yelled angrily.

Finally, when Sasori was lounging on the sofa, waiting for Karura to return, the door clicked open. Both Karura and Rasa stepped in, and this time Rasa was not alone.

Rasa clutched a pet carrier covered in a blanket, which he settled in the middle of the room, then glared at Sasori warily. He lifted the blanket, to reveal the very cat who’s scent that Sasori had become adjusted to.

He was a majestic shorthair, with blue fur and large yellow eyes. He lounged in his carrier like it was his throne, giving a mrrrriaow when he spotted Rasa.

“Here, boy,” said Rasa, dropping a treat through the carrier door.

Sasori jumped off the sofa, his ears pricked, whiskers twitching, and his fluffy little tail swooshing. He trotted up to the door of the carrier, and sniffed at the other cat through the bars. The other cat leant forward and sniffed Sasori back, as they recognised each other’s scent. One of the blankets that the cat lounged on was Sasori’s, and Sasori even spotted one of his toys in the carrier with him.

“Oh, look, they like each other,” observed Rasa.

Sasori ignored the stupid human, and continued to sniff at the other cat. He rolled down onto his back, showing the other cat his fluffy red tummy. His paws waved in the air. Usually only Karura was allowed to see Sasori’s fluffy tum.

“Shall we let San out?” asked Karura.

Rasa knelt and unfastened the door, opening it up for San. San scooped up Sasori’s toy, and then padded out, dropping the toy in front of Sasori, and glancing around the room with his large yellow eyes. He blinked slowly when he spotted Rasa, and then made a steady pace around the room, sniffing at various items.

Before long, he jumped up on the sofa, into one of Sasori’s favourite spots, and lounged out regally, his tail whipping back and forth.

Sasori pounced onto his toy, and started to bite at it, rolling back and forth on the carpet. After a while, he grew bored, and tossed it aside, before leaping up onto the sofa to investigate. Where San was reclining was technically Sasori’s spot, and he wasn’t going to give it up easily. He greeted San by sniffing at his nose, and then turning around in a circle, before slumping down next to San.

Sasori expected the other cat to push him away, but instead San stayed where he was. After a while, he began to purr, a low rumbling noise that was a contrast to Sasori’s trilling purrs.

* * *

Sasori decided he didn’t mind Rasa being here on a permanent basis now that he had a friend. San liked to nap by the radiator or lounge out in the sunlight, and preferred large cushions where he could spread out rather than Sasori’s cosy pet bed. He didn’t like climbing as much as Sasori did, watching Sasori beadily whenever Sasori clamoured on top of the bookshelves. It was like San knew that he was a kingly cat, and didn’t need to prove it.

Sasori watched as Karura put down a bowl of dry food for them for the day. San padded over, sniffed it, and then turned up his nose, swishing his tail as he walked away. Sasori decided he didn’t want it either, even though Karura tickled behind his ears and held out a piece encouragingly. He waited until San had stretched out on his pillow, before settling next to him, and letting San lick his ears. Sasori closed his eyes blissfully as the larger cat groomed him, rolling onto his back so that San could lick his belly, down his fluffy legs.

When Karura arrived home, she stared disappointedly at the full bowls.

“San doesn’t like the plain dry food,” said Rasa. “He only likes the wet stuff.”

“Sasori loves this box! He’s loved it since I had him!”

Rasa stared over at Sasori, and Sasori gazed back smugly.

“Oi! You eat the cheap stuff! The expensive stuff is for my cat!” scolded Rasa.

* * *

Rasa often groomed his cat, wearing a special mitt that he ran down the San’s long back and large hind legs. Sasori glowered jealously as San tilted back his head so that Rasa could comb his ears. San was very content to show himself off and be petted by Rasa, and Karura, and their guests, when they had some friends round for dinner, while Sasori hid in the wardrobe. But, San had a way of showing them he had had enough. Sometimes, even mid-pat, he simply pirouetted away, and ended up sitting at the bottom of the wardrobe while Sasori cowered on top.

If Sasori felt safe, sometimes he would jump back down, and lounge on Karura’s bed, between her and Rasa’s pillows. San would usually join him, and they would spoon around each other, purring contently. San would lick Sasori’s ears and back, showing him that he was loved, he was cared for, he was wanted.

Sasori woke up to the snapping of a camera, as Karura stood holding out her phone. He gazed at her with half-open eyes.

“Awww, you both look so cute,” she cooed.

* * *

Sasori still couldn’t understand why San liked to sprawl across Rasa’s lap, but he could definitely see the appeal in sleeping on Rasa’s warm laptop whenever Rasa worked from home. Rasa clicked his teeth and shouted ‘shoo!’ at Sasori several times, but Sasori refused to move. San watched amusedly, from his and Sasori’s shared spot on the sofa.

“Move!” ordered Rasa.

Sasori lounged across the laptop more luxuriously, pressing on several keys as he did so, potentially deleting Rasa’s work.

The next thing he knew, Rasa squirted a stream of water directly in Sasori’s face.

Sasori leapt upright, his fur sticking out on end, and he hissed angrily at Rasa.

He barrelled from the room, wet tail between his legs, to cower on top of the fridge and lick his wounded pride.

* * *

Rasa worked at the office the next day, and Sasori emerged from under Karura’s bed, scoffing the wet cat food that Rasa was now forced to buy in batch, before wandering to find San. San sat lounging on his cushion, licking clean his paws. When he saw Sasori, he rolled over onto his back, showing Sasori his sleek tummy.

Sasori blinked slowly.

He investigated closer, sniffing his friend. He licked at San’s belly, and then San rolled over, pinning Sasori to the floor. Sasori chirruped playfully, and tussled his way back upright. Both cats frolicked together, eyes bright, whiskers twitching, before San had decided he had enough. He resumed his spot on the cushion, but Sasori hadn’t had enough.

He pranced around his friend, while San watched him indulgently. Sasori even clamoured on his friend’s back, his hind legs either side, and nipped at San’s neck.

San clamoured up again, and rolled to the floor, flipping back and forth, showing Sasori his belly. His tail swooshed, and then he crouched down, lowering his head and watching Sasori.

Sasori clamoured on top of the larger cat, his fluffy little tail sticking up in the air excitedly, and rested his hind legs either side of San’s. He leant forwards, and nipped at San’s neck, holding him in place. San simply swooshed his tail once again, as Sasori kneaded back and forth against him. They both began to purr, San’s low rumble mingling with Sasori’s trills.

Sasori enthusiastically mounted his friend, and his little cat bum bounced in the air as he thrusted back and forth. San lifted his back legs, seeking more of Sasori’s affections.

That was how Rasa found them when he returned from work.

His big handsome boy cat lying smugly on the floor, while Karura’s tiny demon mounted him.

Rasa stared. “My cat…is gay?”

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I ended up googling 'gay cat sex' as research for this fic.
> 
> Once the kids get born, it's a matter of time until Kankuro grabs Sasori by the tail. Oh dear...


End file.
